September is Suicide Awareness Month
I read with a sinking heart about the 25th suicide at Kota… Young lives were snuffed out because they could not live with the burden of the demands on them…
All of us know why Coaching Classes have mushroomed in the country, and places like Kota have turned into “coaching factories”. It is a social evil that needs to be weeded out.
But it is the social pressures that keep these factories going. The cut-throat competition to get into elite colleges, the perception that engineering and medicine are the only lucrative occupations, the belief that success means being good at engineering and medicine, and a social perception that students who are good at Math and Science are the only “smart” ones and others are not clever, the hopes of getting into elite engineering and medical colleges to the extent that other options seem to be below consideration. Children are put through a mill that is a coaching class. Now it is in the hands of parents to take a logical view about their children, their interests, and whether they want to put their child through this suffocating rat race.
Before we paint all coaching classes or coaching practice with the same brush let me say that coaching is beneficial when it provides a student with additional inputs in building skills and doing better in a subject they may want to improve in. However, when coaching classes become the mainstay of education instead of a supplement, it can lead to horrendous consequences as we are witnessing here. There is cut-throat competition, and feeling emotionally lonely can cause the students to spiral into a mental health crisis.
Coaching classes that promise entry into elite colleges are just “sellers of dreams”. They promise the students that if they do well, they will pass the IIT or NEET exams. These coaching classes lack accountability for the consequences of selling their classes and making such claims and false promises. Coaching classes that “guarantee” admission to IITs or suggest that “if you study hard you will pass the IIT entrance”, or “there is no need to have Plan B” etc. need to be brought to court for selling false promises. (These quotes are from students who came for therapy as they were attending coaching for 12th standard). These kinds of claims and advice can have serious repercussions for the student who may end up getting extremely stressed out in the system.
Remember, the coaching classes will claim accolades for success, but any failure is pointed to the deficiencies in the student! PARENTS WATCH OUT BEFORE YOU CART OFF YOUR CHILD TO A COACHING CLASS. Here is something for you to consider.
Coaching classes advertise on billboards and newspapers how many students did well. They DO NOT publish these results:
1. How many of their students DID NOT make it into IITs and elite colleges? The acceptance rate of IITs is 2% or so, so MOST are NOT going to get in. Admission depends on various criteria. There are very few seats compared to the number of applicants.
2. How many of their students are going through extreme anxiety and depression or any maladaptive behaviors like internet addiction, or mental health crises?
3. How many of their students are taking counseling and therapy- the coaching classes may not know this number (and sadly students may not want to share as getting mental health support has a stigma attached to it)
4. How many students drop out of the coaching class or drop out of the IITs and colleges they do end up enrolling in?
5. What is the ratio of students to teachers, and what is the class load
Talk to mental health counselors (not admissions counselors) and find out what they say about the child’s aptitude or chances of success and if your child is a good fit for a coaching program.
DO NOT put your child and yourself through misery heartache and anxiety.
There are many options for your child. Even those who go to normal colleges become very successful in life. Most engineers in most companies in the world DID NOT go to IITs or Ivy League Schools.
Your child can grow into a happy adult if you do this:
1. Find out what the child’s interests are. If they want to get into engineering and medicine and do want coaching, find a good coach who can match their needs and get that coaching.
2. Reassure the child that it is OK if they don’t get into IIT or for that matter engineering or medicine. It is not the end of the world.
3. Have a conversation with the coach about what to communicate with the child if the child’s grades are not up to the mark.
3. Find out what other interests your child may have. There are thousands of occupations in the world for your child to choose from- If your child finds a path that they are passionate about, they will be successful in their chosen career rather than average at something they do not enjoy or are not good at!
5. Get a Career Assessment done for your child by qualified psychologists and get career counseling done for your child so they can explore different careers.
Hopefully, the New Education Policy will make education up to the 12th standard more wholesome and can slowly reduce the stress for most students. A holistic education that stresses math, science, social sciences, languages, humanities, art, physical education, leadership, community service, and life skills will prove more worthwhile in developing strong youngsters with a sense of value and purpose and choosing careers that enrich their lives.
We will have fewer Kota Factories and fewer suicides.
It is in your hands, parents!